We all have times when our mind works against us. It acts like the devil on our shoulder and tells us in explicit detail how bad we are, how evil everyone is around us, what we’ve done wrong, why we’re not worthy, what we need to be worried about.
When this happens we become focused on the future and the past instead of the present where it matters. The stories that our mind tells us are almost always things that we can do nothing about or they are complete fiction. Our stories take up a huge amount of space in our brain and they’re rarely productive conversations.
I call this ‘churning’.
For example, have you ever worried about how much your partner loves you? You have access to memories and actions from the past that you can do nothing about. But your mind also “churns” on fictional stories in the future. What they might do, what they might say, what they might be thinking, what they might say to someone else, what someone else might do or say to them.
You can actually find that you get angry with them based on fictional stories. It can actually cause stress and anxiety and it’s all made up.
These stories you tell yourself, can actually cause you physical harm in the form of stress, lack of sleep and ultimately depression.
If you stop and realize what’s going on in your mind you’ll realize that it’s all a waste of time. It’s good to be concerned about he future and put things in place to control your trajectory, but to continually tell yourself stories that are complete fiction and to worry about things that are set in stone from the past is the ultimate waste and inefficiency when it comes to how you spend your time and use your brain.
Work on being present with your thoughts.
Realize when your devil of a mind is telling you fictional stories and stop.
Focus on what you can do now that you can CONTROL.
Turn negative stories in positive stories. Example: She’s going to cheat on me could turn into she’s in bed with me right now. How can I ensure that she comes back to my bed every day?